Two Things You Thought Were True About Divorce But Are Actually False
Divorce is sort of like fishing. Everyone who's been through it seems to have a tall tale to tell about the process. After circulating in the public consciousness for awhile, many of these tales turn into commonly accepted truths when they're nothing more than myths. Here's the truth behind two myths about the divorce process to help you avoid taking actions that could hurt your case.
Myth #1: The Court Cares If Your Spouse Cheated On You
Approximately 22 percent of married men and 14 percent of married women have had extra-marital affairs. In the past, you would have been expected to tell the court the sordid details of your spouse's affair. That was because the law required people to provide a valid reason for the divorce, and adultery was one of the acceptable reasons.
Today, however, all states have some type of no-fault law in place that allows couples to divorce without having to prove wrongdoing on anyone's part. So although you may be feeling hurt by your spouse's infidelity, telling the judge about it is unlikely to have any effect on the separation of marital property and child custody decisions if you use this option to get a divorce. It may have some relevance if you live in a state that allows fault-based divorces and recognizes adultery as grounds for the separation. Your ex's affair may result in a more favorable settlement for you. However, you will be required to prove the affair happened, which can be challenging.
Myth #2: The Mother Always Gets The Kids
Another myth that has reared its unsavory head in recent years is that the courts favor giving custody of children to the mothers, regardless of whether or not they are fit to parent. Because of this myth, many men don't attempt to fight for custody of the kids (or give up too soon), even though they may be in a better situation to take care of the children.
The truth is that the courts used to presume kids were better off with their mothers. That presumption was probably based on the fact that mothers were more likely to be the children's primary caregivers and, thus, in a better position to take care of their needs.
Times have changed, though. These days, the court's primary concern is what's in the best interest of the children. To that end, family courts consider the mental, emotional, and financial stability of both parents and the children's relationships with them when determining custody matters. Regardless of gender, if one parent appears to be better able to care for the kids than the other, that parent will more likely be awarded primary custody. Custody can also be divided more or less evenly between two qualified parents.
To get the truth about other myths or for help with litigating a divorce, consider contacting a professional like those at Gruber & Associates, PC.
